Since students are at the top of the triangle of support, parents and teachers must form a partnership to ensure their needs are being met and engage in continuous communication to ensure this occurs. While educators build, foster, and maintain positive relationships with students, the same must be established with family members. The most rewarding relationships are built on mutual respect and trust. However, building trust with families takes time and commitment.

Listed below are tips that will help the process. Double-check school personnel records to make sure you know with whom to communicate throughout the year—one or both parents, a stepparent, a guardian, or a foster parent.

Eight Tips for Building Trust

1. Keep it constant, keep it positive.

One strategy you can use is aiming for a ratio of 3:1; that is, contact families for positive issues three times for every contact that involves a problem or concern.

When families think of teacher contacts as always being negative, they may avoid your attempts to connect with them. You don't need to minimize any difficulties the student may be having; simply focus on a positive behavior or an academic success.

2. Ask families for the best way to reach them and honor their preferences.

Giving families options about how you connect with them lets them know that you're committed to keeping them informed. Although it can be time consuming to use different methods of communication, find ways to streamline the process.

3. Assure families that you will notify them immediately if you have a concern.

Involving families as soon as a problem arises often prevents a minor problem from becoming more serious. Ask families to let you know if they notice problems occurring at home that may also affect school behavior.

4. When problems arise, present families with background information, explanations about the actions you've already taken, and the strategies you would like to try.

Paint a picture for families about what is happening in the classroom and what you have already done about it. Clearly explain the situation and your reasons for suggesting a particular plan of action. Ask families for their perspectives, and listen to their input and ideas with an open mind. Problems should be addressed in person or by phone rather than by notes or email.

5. Take time to reflect on important decisions.

Don't feel rushed to make an on-the-spot decision when discussing an issue with parents. A waiting period gives you time to discuss the issue with colleagues, counselors, or administrators. Additional or more appropriate solutions often come to mind after you have time to carefully consider the situation. However, don't keep parents in suspense. Establish an agreed upon time when you'll make a final decision.

6. Keep conversations with families confidential.

Open, honest communication is nurtured in an atmosphere of confidentiality. You demonstrate to families that you respect them by not talking about their child's difficulties with other families or in a derogatory way with other faculty members. Ask parents for a reciprocal agreement.

7. Remain calm and open-minded as you listen to families' concerns.

Teachers often become the recipients of families' frustration and anger regarding a child's behavior, and these feelings may get expressed by blaming the teacher for a child's behavior problems. Although it may be easy to feel defensive when families find fault with you or your teaching, use a calm voice and direct eye contact to acknowledge families' feelings or concerns.

8. Respect your relationship with students as you communicate with families.

Be sure to let students know ahead of time that you are going to contact their families. Tell them how and why. This is especially important for high school students because it gives them time to tell their families what to expect. Make it clear to students that you are making a family contact as a way to help them succeed in school. Never use contacting a family as a threat.